You have succumbed to being the planner of those terrifying family vacations you dreaded as a child. The iconography consists of seven angels sounding seven trumpets after the book with seven seals is opened by the Lamb of God (Figure 1). My family had brown towels. That’s too cool and cinematically interesting. A Weekend in Mesa, AZ Spoiler Alert: What wins out every time is your new life goal…being in your own bed. Once Trump's 28 years in the White House are over, it's go time, baby! When it asks if you want to open the app, you mutter “don’t tell me what to do” and stick with the browser, because no one has time to download the IMDB app. It is a fact that every time you genuinely admire a bird, you get a wrinkle. Are. You will only identify with one character. And, oh, it’s happening. You will start to mention things to do with your teenagers who will be rightfully horrified. But, all is not lost. Celebrities I hear the glassblowing in Mesa is AMAZING! Who wouldn’t love to be among the saguaros? You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. Sure it was just in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but still. The seven trumpets of Revelation are a clear reference to Trump's seven terms in office. You have lame clothes and a job that has left a you a shell of a person who is randomly angry. Kidding themselves. Why do you fall asleep watching TV at 9pm, your head bobbing nearly off your neck? It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. Is the apocalypse just around the corner? You finally understand why your parents packed up in the middle of fireworks display you waited all day to watch. It’s far more nuanced. Not once. Copyright © 2020 | MH Magazine WordPress Theme by MH Themes, NM COVID-19 roundup: Gov warns of possible ‘uncontrollable spread’, 3 Ways to Make More Money in Your Business, USDA Announces $19.1 Million to Support Socially Disadvantaged and Veteran Farmers and Ranchers. It is just a matter of time. And not just the gray hair, reading glasses, and overall crotchety demeanor you’ve been expecting. You hear yourself talking up things like glassblowing, pottery class, and live music brunches. He smells of patchouli but his heart is in the right place.7.) This FAQ is empty. It was the complete and utter ceasing of giving a crap, due to the endless exhaustion of parenting and adulting. It WILL happen. The Ghostbusters remake was a clear sign we have been given over to God's judgment. One. It is nestled in the pristine Arizona desert. No judgment. Prophecy wackos have been predicting it's the end of the world every year for centuries, and frankly, they've gotta be right one of these times. Why are you always cold? Nope. Why are you saving wooden pegs? Once we found out that for $7.99 you could get a new towel at TJ Maxx, there was no way we’d ever have old, worn-out, smelly towels. The country is politically divided for the first time in history. Here are 7 to prove that you are facing the impending doom of old age. It will surprise you as you watch this movie you loved as a kid and realize that, OMG, Ferris isn’t seizing the day, he’s a self-involved narcissist. Struggling to understand Bible prophecy? Is it the last days? Still, the Botox whispers seductively because if that is Michael Douglas, what hope is there for the rest of us? You are rooting for him to catch Ferris and restore justice to the world and there’s nothing you can do to pretend this is not happening. Knows. Like…I think that might be one someone named Chris? Pick up a copy of The Non-Prophet's Guide to the Book of Revelation. I’m not talking about Alfred Hitchcock’s birds. Remember your parents’ towels? With Jon Barton, Alina Dorian, Armand Dorian, Joseph Falasca. You will fight this, unsuccessfully. Here are the seven clearest signs we've obtained that we're living in the end times: 1.) The Aging Apocalypse is not the end of the world, just the end of your youth. (TV Movie 2009). Here are the seven clearest signs we've obtained that we're living in the end times:1.) From concerts to sporting events to fireworks displays, you are constantly mentally graphing and charting the ratio of enjoying yourself in the moment, to the price you are willing to pay sitting helplessly trapped in your car inching forward, hating every stupid person who doesn’t get the “you go, then I go,” code of honor in high volume traffic situations. What starts out as your vow to take back your basement and somehow not be a pathetic caricature of middle aged parents, ends up in a whimper of defeat with you slinking quietly out of the basement opting for sweet, sweet death to mercifully save you from this hell. We’d be different right? And not just the gray hair, reading glasses, and overall crotchety demeanor you’ve been expecting. Remember all that crap your parents had in their basement…..or attic or shed or garage? You know you are the principal. Surely there must be better ways to promote sick ideas of, obedience, blind fate and fear than this sort of garbage? You smugly thought you’d never collect that much stuff, until one sorry day you realize you have. You’ll pull up IMDB on your phone…in your browser. The plague of Pepe the Frog memes is another bad omen. I don’t know who the heck anyone is anymore. The all-female remake of Ghostbusters was maybe the clearest example of that happening in recent memory.4.) You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Keep track of everything you watch; tell your friends. You. The scales have been tipped…and, let’s face it, you are careening toward plain old, old. “And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. That. World will be destroyed. Add the first question. Check out some of the IMDb editors' favorites movies and shows to round out your Watchlist. Like all prophetic doom, there’s not much you can do to stop the Aging Apocalypse. And the best part? The signs are there. #6. Most of them some variation of gray…and the never-ending collection of Peanut butter jars full of nails, screws, wooden pegs. #7. Come on, you know you do. Worst movie I ever saw.Ever.Make believe theories suddenly become "facts". Unrecognizable from aging or savage plastic surgery that makes you, momentarily, happy you can’t afford it. Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. In Romans 1, Paul writes that God sometimes gives people over to their sinful desires, allowing them to suffer the consequences. In the 70s all color palettes were sensibly determined by the color of dirt, which you now understand. We had them from my first memory until I left for college. And the stars you grew up with? Directed by Tim Prokop. His smug confidence makes you want to smack him in the head. Each angel is individuated and placed within the events affiliated to its assigned seal (Figures 2-4). While previous generations have seen peace and harmony here at home and abroad in places like the Middle East, we see political turmoil now for the first time ever, a clear sign that this is the end. Looking for some great streaming picks? No one knows. The Aging Apocalypse will bring you to a desperate place. Nope. The signs are there. After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. Why can’t you digest onions? You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article. Although you’ll replace them over the years, eventually, you will numbly fold a ripped, bleach destroyed, stained towel that has a bit of a funk and put it in the linen closet without so much as noticing or caring in the least.

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