Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. “I put a dollar in one of those change machines. If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. It frees you from doing things you dislike. I've gone and done.". 22. In fact it’s not like stealing money at all, it’s like recycling.” – Mad Money, 17. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope, 9. 68. Funny Money Poem by Philo Yan - Poem Hunter, Poem Submitted: Tuesday, September 4, 2012, Poem Edited: Wednesday, September 5, 2012. “Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet” — Robin Williams, Advertiser Disclosure (How We Make Money). All written content on this site is for information purposes only. ~Mark Twain, 45. “I’m so naive about finances. ~Quoted in P.S. Nobody… and I don’t care if you’re Warren Buffet or if you’re Jimmy Buffet. Isn’t # 28 acutally a quote from Will Rogers? “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? Money is not actually the root of all evil, as they say. If I had lots of cash I would throw a great big bash And just invite my closest friends. So here you have it….95 funny and inspirational quotes about money. Harrison, 35. “It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy, 54. “The Best Way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray, 86. Nice work. Most everyone can relate to silly poems such as this one. “Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas. I'm really good at managing money. “Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.” – Sam Ewing, 71. You know why dogs have no money? Goals: How to Get the Most Out of Your Life, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Best RATED personal finance books on Amazon, Best SELLING books in the personal finance budgeting and money management topic on Amazon, 30 day FREE trial, which gets you 2 FREE books, Money Quotes that will Inspire You to Take Action, Money affirmations that will attract abundance into your life, Self-Care Activities and Ideas that are Cheap, Quick and Easy, Love, Marriage and Sex Funny Money Quotes, Business, Banking and Inflation Funny Money Quotes, Funny Quotes about Borrowing and Lending Money, Funny Quotes about Money and Financial Literacy. “Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. In a kinder and less materialistic contemporary poem, "Leave New York," Joshua Beckman writes about the seductive material lure of New York City, turning away from everything he would like to buy, refusing even to spend his money on books of poetry: Do not spend $1.00 on two scallion pancakes. “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.” – Will Rogers, 59. If I had lots of spend I think all of us will be able to relate to this poem simply because we all depend on money for survival. I’ve scoured the internet looking for some of the funniest and inspirational money quotes that money can buy. There was an error submitting your subscription. “Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail” – Richard Friedman, 19. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin, Comedian and Author of Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life, 27. People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. “What’s your favorite childhood memory? “I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous, 2. Looking for some ways of being polite + romantic + demanding? Not one of them has to worry about getting out this manual on Nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up, down, sideways or in fucking circles. “The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov. “Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams, 10. “I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. Jeff is an Iraqi combat veteran and served 9 years in the Army National Guard. Money Depriving yourself of sleep, ever busy no friends you keep. Your email address will not be published. “What’s a soup kitchen?” – Paris Hilton, 89. Money sure does help with the grocery bills. ~Joe Louis, 29. “Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Rubber bands form my hair. Best Friendship Quotes of the Week | Quotes Words Sayings, To celebrate St. Patrick's Day this year, I wanted my little gal & I to do something different from the normal green candy treats! Do not hail a ten dollar cab to blow off steam “Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.” – Helen Gurley Brown. Least of all, stockbrokers, right?” – Wolf of Wall Street, 20. 5. 3. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. of a new metal. Nothing changed” — George Carlin, 86. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham, 2. They’re broke their entire lives. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal, Actor in When Harry Met Sally, 28. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham. But they get through. Put it on booze. I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention. “I just filled out my income tax forms. “I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. Got a fur sink. There is, of course, a rich tradition of poets needing, seeking, despising, loving, and refusing money and the material world. 59. If I had lots of money I would just eat milk and honey And never once would clean my teeth. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran, 83. On 23/05/2013 at 18:30 GMT harriet from Groby wrote: "This is very good I like it a lot lol ~A.A. “The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.” – Brendan Behan, 38. “Money and women. THANK YOU !! The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. "The Telephonist" by Susan Yuzna Please try again. 65. Just take a look at my cousin, he’s broke, don’t do shit.”, 22. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” JP Getty. 72. It can’t buy you money.”Henry Youngman. “If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.” – George Gobel, 70. “Money is the best deodorant.” – Elizabeth Taylor, 41. Lawrence: Damn straight. "Black Nikes" by Harryette Mullen That quickly can thee bring from misery; ~Author Unknown, 33. “When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.” – Nick Arnette, 60.

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